Well, we made it just shy of 13 full months of breastfeeding. My original goal was to make it a year. We did it! She was down to just nursing at bedtime, and occasionally once in the middle of the night. I knew that complete weaning wasn't far off when she would only nurse for a few minutes, the pop her paci in her mouth and put herself to sleep...

Tonight, however, she completely refused to nurse at all... She didn't even want to be rocked or anything. I laid her in her crib, gave her a paci and her blanket and she rolled over and went to sleep.

I didn't think it would make me sad, but I'm sitting here typing this with tears rolling down my face... How silly is that?


Sarah, if you read this.. should I expect my hormones to be wacky for a few days, or anything weird associated with ending the breastfeeding? I really have no idea what to expect.

We made it One year, Three weeks, and Four days!

mood: sad tags: breastfeeding, sariah

Happy Birthday to Sariah! She is officially ONE now!

 It's been an exciting week for sure. We started out with her being uber fussy on Sunday. She was running a fever of 101 on Sunday night, so off to the doctor we went Monday morning. As I suspected, she had ANOTHER Urinary Tract Infection... this is her 4th one. She's on her 7th dose of antibiotics since birth, which worries me. Her doctor says that it doesn't matter, but I can't help worrying that she's losing too much of the "good" bacteria with all of this medicine that she's not going to be able to fight off ANYTHING. They gave her a massive antibiotic shot (of the same medicine she was given in the hospital), and then started her on oral meds the next day. Poor kiddo. By the afternoon of her actual birthday (Tuesday) she seemed to be feeling better, thankfully!

We planned a big party with friends and family for Wednesday evening, so Diana (sister in law) and I spent Tuesday evening and Wednesday afternoon making and decorating a bunch of cakes. :) Pictures will be below! She was so cute eating her little personal cake... and on the plus side, after the sugar crash, she slept better that night then the past 3 previous nights put together. :D Yay!

So, Milestones met since my last milestone post:
1. Crawling
2. Crusing Furniature
3. Eating solids
4. Talking/Babbling up a storm. (She now says Mama, Dada, Wow, and what sounds like "hey")

We made it a full year Breastfeeding! I am SO proud of myself for sticking with it, despite the trials we've faced. She's down to only really nursing at bedtime and sometimes early morning... I'm okay with sticking with the bedtime nursing as it gives us some real "mommy and baby snuggle time". I cherish that time with her!

And now, birthday pics and a video!

mood: accomplished tags: breastfeeding, milestones, sariah

Today is the 8th anniversary of the attack on the twin towers. Very sad day. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of those lost, to the soldiers fighting for our freedom, and to our President, who (imho) just needs help.

On another note, we're heading to see the pediatric urologist today for tests and such. I am almost positive that she's already got another UTI even though it hasn't been a week since she last finished an antibiotic. She's showing all the same symptoms as before.

Sariah and I both have some icky tummy bug, which means no sleep for mommy (literally I've had less than 2 hours)... as daddy is working the next 4 nights in a row. Fun times.

On a happier note, Matt applied for a full-time position at the hospital he's currently working at...it would be second shift (approx 1P-9P ish Mon-Fri) The position was only open to current employees, and was only available for 3 days... so he's got a good chance. He'd be getting full-time hours and BENEFITS!!! which we so desperately need. Hopefully we'll find out soon.

Please say a prayer or two for my little family regarding health and this new job! 

~Crystal

mood: exhausted tags: jobs, sariah, specialist

I am having a stressed out, horrible kind of day.

Sariah woke up at 12:30 AM screaming her head off... Like hysterical screaming. I rush into her room. She's burning up. I stick her into a lukewarm bathtub, which calmed her a little (she loves bath time). I take her temp after she gets out of the tub and it's a not-so-worrysome 101. I give her some tylenol and nurse her. Instead of falling back asleep, she proceeds to continue screaming for the better part of 2 hours. She finally cries herself  to sleep. She wakes up at 6:15, and seems normal. Her temp is down to normal, and she's her normal (albiet overly chipper) morning self. She nurses a little, and then eats breakfast. Naptime is at 10. She proceeds to scream for another hour, just as she had overnight. I change her diaper and notice that her urine is much darker than normal. Great. I call the doctors office (thank heavens for Saturday office hours). We go in, they take a urine sample, and once again, it was an immediate positive for infection.  So we have to schedule an appointment with a pediatric urologist ASAP... She will have to have more invasive testing done, blood work taken, and probably another catheter. 

Add to that the fact that it's the weekend, so I'm stuck dealing with this alone because I don't see my husband for more than an hour a day from Friday afternoon until Monday afternoon.  I don't feel good... I can't breathe, my chest hurts , my head feels like it's going to explode.  But, lack of insurance means that I can't go to the doctor. So I have to suffer in silence.  My hormones are all out of wack... which is causing all sorts of issues... Who knows what is causing this crap?

Money is not good right now. I have to find a job, but Sariah is still nursing every 4-5 hours all day/night. I've applied for three different nanny jobs, but haven't heard back from any of them. :( I'm so lost and confused. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't see myself leaving her to go for a full time job.

Is it wrong of me to just want to curl up and cry myself out?

mood: confused

I had every intention of writing down all the crap that I'm feeling, but no one cares, so why waste the time or energy (or hurt my tendonitis aching hand even more)? 

So, instead, I'm going to ask that the few people who do read this, keep me in their prayers, and specifically ask that I get the job that allows me to stay with my daughter. I don't believe I can emotionally leave her. So, please, pray for me, pray for us.

On a better note, here are a few current pictures of my beautiful baby girl!

location: the inside of my head mood: anxious tags: sariah

So, Sariah is officially over the 7 month mark. She is getting SO big, and changing so much. I can't believe how fast a young child can change. Yes, she's changed physically, (WE OFFICIALLY HAVE OUR FIRST PEARLY WHITE!!!) but she's blooming into a very smart child with a great personality. She is, normally, very happy, and shows that with a big grin, an adorable giggle, and most recently, big (slobbery) open mouth kisses.

She loves attention, and gets it from everyone (mom and dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and complete strangers). She's a little charmer, and has already proved that daddy will have to purchase a gun to ward of the boys that will surely be knocking at our door a few years down the road. Although, she's technically already taken. She'll be marrying one of my good friends' little boy-- "Jack". They're a month apart (Jack likes older woman) and already have fun when they're together. They were already going to marry each other before they were even born. :) They just don't know it yet.

We went to Sears to take our first professional pictures of Sariah, and she was an angel. I was worried because it was during that time period where some days she is wide awake and happy, other days she's sleepy and grouchy. She loves taking pictures, and did beautifully during the session, after which she promptly took a nice nap. Anyways... my favorite pictures are below. (Oh, I just have to add that I made her headband and flower. :D)

                           

mood: sleepy tags: sariah